① 最搞笑的个性签名
1. 我想做你的小太阳，要不温暖你，要不晒死你。
2. 当你觉得自己又丑又穷的时候，不要悲伤，至少你的判断还是对的。
3. 说出来怕吓到你们，我也是有后台的人，能运行两个程序。
4. 拿快递的感觉就像跟失散多年的亲骨肉重逢，但常常拆开之后发现孩子长得像隔壁老王。
5. 所谓的明骚易躲，暗箭难防绝对是真理，狐狸不成精纯属骚的轻。
6. 家家都有本难念的经，可是上天你怎么给我的是英文版的经呢？
7. 没有强大的主人，别以为是狗你就能乱咬人。
8. 追韩剧的担心嫁不出去，追国产剧的最担心婆媳关系。
9. 为什么年年买衣服，年年没有衣服穿？因为你一年比一年有气质，去年的衣服，配不上今年的你。
10. 单身很痛苦，单身久了更痛苦，前几天我看见一头母猪，都觉得它眉清目秀的。
② 公布恋情的时候，发什么朋友圈比较好玩
公布恋情的时候，可以发一些你们的牵手照或者一起吃饭的照片，这样不至于太高调也不会太低调。
要不要发朋友圈来宣布自己的爱情，有人说，当然公开，向全世界宣布：我不再是一个人，脱单了，她（他）是属于我的了。也有人说，没必要，该知道的总会知道，没必要什么事都要让所有人知道。
有人可能觉得秀恩爱没必要，其实对于发朋友圈的人来说秀恩爱并不是目的，而是想要分享自己此时的感受，分享自己的喜悦。且公开并不等于每天都秀。同意公布的人认为非常有必要，因为不公布会让自己觉得没有安全感，很多人觉得不愿意在朋友圈发对象大概都是留有后手，会猜测对方是在寻找下家，而自己则会成为备胎。
所以选择发一张简简单单的牵手照或者一起吃饭的照片，对两个人都是比较好的选择，折中，谁也不会难为谁，对朋友圈里其他人也好，不至于吃狗粮。
③ 非常搞笑的笑话,非常搞笑的句子
1、出卖自己的灵魂和原则并不丢人，丢人的是没有卖上一个好价钱。
2、她笑里藏刀，然后割伤了自己的嘴。
3、比起穷这个弱点，丑简直不值一提。
4、我的优点是：勇于认错。我的缺点是：坚决不改。
5、如果我死了请不要为我悲伤，赶快集齐七颗龙珠将我复活。
6、我从小就怕黑，小的时候成绩不好就是因为怕看黑板。
7、她是女生，会发光，而我是女生，会反光。
8、喜欢一个女生，就要好好学习，努力赚钱，以后她结婚时，你可以多给份子钱。
9、上帝是公平的，给了你丑的外表，还会给你低的智商，以免让你显得不协调。
10、只有经历过大风大雨的人才知道，打伞并没有什么卵用。
11、有些歌听前奏就喜欢了，有些人看第一眼就爱上了，有些作业翻第一页就不想写了。
12、你想一夜暴富吗？你想一夜成名吗？你想衣食无忧吗？如果你想不如跟我在一起，我们两个一起想。
13、目前现状：想过八戒般的生活，却承受着悟空般的压力，但只有沙僧的本事，还时不时能听到唐僧般的唠叨。
14、脸上长痘痘，去医院看医生，挂了号我才发现皮肤病性病是一个科，这要被人误以为是我那儿有毛病可就丢脸了！我想了想，毅然脱掉裤子在众目睽睽之下骄傲地走进了诊疗室。
15、今天我女朋友怀疑我出轨，被我劈头盖脸一通臭骂，我说我别的女朋友都没怀疑我出轨，怎么就你这么多事儿。
④ 杨过戴面具的6个版本，刘德华版吓人，任贤齐是来搞笑的吗
金庸老爷子笔下有很多经典之作，每一部武侠小说的侠骨柔情都能触动观众的内心。最令人印象深刻的要数《神雕侠侣》，所以多年以来很多演员都争相翻拍这部电视作品。
因为演员不同，所以塑造出来的人物给观众的感觉也各不相同，下面大家就来研究一下6个版本当中，带着不同面具的杨过，给观众留下了什么样的感觉！
一部作品之所以能够被大家认同，并成为经典，除了和演员有很大的关系之外，和剧情里面的很多细节都有很大关系，比如演员的服饰、道具、场景的选择等。想要塑造成经典的作品就不能放过每一个细节，用心做，用心演才能出经典，你觉得呢？
⑤ 镐ユ眰鑻辫璇濆墽鍓ф湰鎼炵瑧镄 8浜
Net Friend 浜掕仈缃戜氦鍙
Summary:
Is it correct to make friends on the Internet? Will it be dangerous? Bill, Hillary's younger brother, is a rude and impolite boy. Everyone in his school doesn't like him. However, he really wants to have a girlfriend, so he asks his sister to help him. Then Hillary pretended to be Bill on net and met a nice girl, Monica. Three months later, Hillary asked Monica to go out with "Bill" (Her brother), and arranged everything for them. When they met each other at McDonald's, Monica found that Bill wasn't the one who she talked to on net. Then...
Finally, Monica understands that it's very dangerous to date with strangers and trusts everything of which her net-friend told her. And we all should be very careful when we're on net.
銆
Scene I
(In school cafeteria, students are having lunch)
Bill: Hey, Jessie. (He pushed her shoulder very rudely) Can I join you?
(Jessie didn't say a word, and Bill just sat down)
Bill: Wow! Wow! Wow! You are wearing a nice dress today!
Jessie: Thanks!
Bill: Oh! What a beautiful hair clip. Where did you buy it?
(Jessie didn't say anything..)
Bill: Hey, you have a nice watch.
(He held her hand strongly and Jessie got angry.)
Jessie: Don't touch me! I don't want to talk to you. Leave me alone!
(Bill stood up and walked toward Carol.
Bill sat down beside Carol without asking her)
Bill: Hey, beautiful! How could you eat so little! It's not good for your health! Take this!
(Bill wanted Carol to eat his food)
Carol: No.
Bill: Take it! (He was very rude and the plate fell down.)
Carol: Hey! What are you doing! This is my new skirt!
Bill: I'm sorry!
Carol: Go away! You're such a rude guy!
(Carol went away.)
Bill: Did I do something wrong?
(He talked to himself)
Scene II
(In Hillary's room. Hillary was surfing the net)
Bill: Sis....
Bill: Hillary!
Hillary: Oh! Hi! Bill! How long have you been sitting there? Are you trying to scare me?
(Bill didn't say a word.)
Hillary: Bill? What's wrong with you? What happened?
Bill: I tried to draw some girls' attention but they just ignored me!
Hillary: Hmm....Maybe the way you used was wrong.
Bill: Yeah, maybe. But I don't know how to attract them. Hillary, I just want to have a girlfriend?
Hillary: Girlfriend?
Bill: Yeah.
Hillary: Let me see what I can do.
Bill: So, can you help me?
Hillary: Ok! Since you really want to have a girlfriend, I'll try to help you.
Bill: Great! Thank you! You are a doll!
(At this moment, Hillary's net-friend is calling her.)
Hillary: Oh.. My net-friend!
Bill: Ok! Waiting for your good news!
(Bill left Hillary's room and Hillary was thinking how she helped Bill.)
Hillary: Yeah! That's it! I can pretend to be Bill and find a girlfriend on the Internet!
(She opened the PC and saw a girl's name "Monica"...)
Hillary: (Laughing......) Monica!
(A little bit surprised)
Hillary: (Talked to herself) It is the same name as the girl of Clinton's sexual scandal. Hmm. Let me send a message to her.
Hillary: Hi! I'm Bill! Glad to meet you!
Monica: Hello, Bill! , Glad to meet you, too. I'm a college student, and you?
Hillary: Me three
Monica: (Laughing...) You're a humorous person!
Hillary: Thanks! I guess you're a female, aren't you?
Monica: Yes, I am.
Hillary: (Talked to herself) Great! She's a girl.
Monica: And you?
Hillary: Oh... I'm a "boy"
Monica: Which school club are you in?
Hillary: Computer Information Club.
Monica: Oh! Really? So you must be a computer expert!
Hillary: You can say that again.
Monica: You know I'm interested in computers, too. So, can you teach me or tell me something about them?
Hillary: Sure! It's my pleasure!
( .....Two hours later .....)
Hillary: Oh! It's interesting to chat with you.
Monica: Yeah! I'm very happy, too.
IIiIIaiy: Will you be here tomorrow? At the same time?
Monica: I think so, I hope we can meet again.
Hillary: Ok, I'll be here tomorrow, Bye! Bye!
Monica: Bye!
Saying: From then on, Monica and Hillary continue chatting with each other after school.
(At Monica's room. As soon as Monica came back home from school,
she started surfing the net. Then, her mom came into her room.
She knocked her door, but no oneanswered the door)
Dad锛欴arling锛宻omeone is knocking the door.
Mom: I'm coming!
Mom: Oh! Monica, my darling! I've just baked some cookies. Want some?
Monica: No, thanks! I have something important to do.
Mom: What are you busy doing?
Monica: I'm surfing the net and talking to my net-friend.
Mom: Net-friends!! They are strangers. You even don't know who they are. I read from the newspapers. Lot's of things happened on net. You should be more careful and you have to watch out for your net-friends, You're so young
Monica: Ok.. ok. .I know, Mom. Don't worry about me.
(Mom walked out her room. and Monica saw Hillary)
Monica: Hello! Bill!
Hillary: Hi! Monica! How's school today?
Monica: Wonderful! It's really a nice day!
Hillary: Monica! I think we've known each other for a long time. And I just wonder whether you would go out with me?
Monica: (Talk to herself) Go out with him?
Monica: Sure, I would like to. I think you're a polite and humorous person. It may be interesting to go out with you!
Hillary: That's great! How about we meeting at McDonald's on Ming-Chang Road this weekend?
Monica: All right! It's a deal! But how can I recognize you?
Hilillary: I'll wear a blue shirt, blue jeans, a blue caps and also carry a blue knapsack. Besides, I'll stand beside the trash can.
Monica: All in blue! Wow! Ok! That will be easy for me to recognize you.
Hillary: Yeah! I'll be waiting for you!
Monica: Ok! See you
Monica: (Talk to herself) Ha! I'm looking forward to it!
Hillary: (Talk to herself) Yes, I made it. I'm going to tell Bill this good news!
ScenceIII
(At McDonald's, Bill was waiting for Monica.
A few minutes later, Monica saw Bill and walked toward Bill)
Monica: Hi... Are you Bill?
Bill: Yes, I am. You're Monica?
Monica: Yeah.. that's right.
Bill: You look great!
Monica: You're not bad, either. Hey, Let's find a table!
Bill: Yeah! How about that one? I've ordered some things.
(They found a table and began talking.)
Monica: Bill!
Bill: Monica!
Bill: Oh! Lady first!
Monica: Bill, have you already finished your computer report?
Bill: Uh...Uh... Did I tell you that?
Monica: Yes, you did. You said it was about how to kill virus. Did you find out how to do that?
Bill: Kill virus? That's easy for me. I'm a genius. Just use a knife.
Monica: A knife?
Bill: Yeah! Knife can kill everything.
Monica: What are you talking about? Alright! Alright! Forget it! And how about the novel we discussed last week?
Bill: Novel? I've read so many novels, which one?
Monica: "The old man and the sea", don't you forget? What happened to that old man?
Bill: Yeah! That old man! He caught a big fish and then became a hero.
Monica: Hmm. He has a strong will, doesn't he? He never gives up anything. And how about the fish?
Bill: Did you forget? He cooked the fish and ate it!
Monica: And~~it's delicious, right?
Bill: You got it! It's very delicious!
Monica: Nonsense! The fish was eaten by the sharks . You're not Bill, are you?
Bill: Of course I'm Bill. "B~I-L-L"
Monica: But you seem different from the way you are on net. Who are you for God's sake?
Bill: Ok. I tell you the truth. I'm Bill, but not the one you talked to on net. That was my sister, Hillary.
Monica: Are you kidding me?
Bill: No, that's true. I really want to have a girlfriend, so she helped me out. She met you on net and thought you're a nice girl. So she arranged us to meet each other.
Monica: That means both of you tricked me?
Bill: So what? That's Hillary's idea.
Monica: You. ..You..... (She is very angry)
Monica: Gosh! I was tricked for such a long time!
Scence IV
(Monica left McDonald angrily)
(At Monica's room, again.)
Monica: (Crying) How foolish I was! What on earth was I doing? (Still crying) I think I need someone to talk to.
(She looked around and saw the time)
Monica: Ah, 8:30. It's "Paula's Time."
(She turned on the TV)
Paula: Welcome to "Paula's Time" I'm Paula Jones, not Dow Jones. Today we'll discuss some net problems. Nowadays Internet helps modern people live more convenient lives, get the latest information. You can say that we live in an Internet world. However, some bad guys made use of Internet to do illegal deals or trick people. So, today we will listen to some friends' problems and help them solve it. Our hot line number is 111-1234. Please dial it as soon as possible. I'm waiting for your call-in. OK. Who's the first friend?
Monica: Hi, Paula, I'm Monica.
Paula: Yes, Monica, what do you want to share with us?
Monica: I met a girl, Hillary, on net three months ago. She pretended to be her brother, Bill, and chatted with me. But I didn't know the truth until yesterday that we arranged to meet each other. He told me that Hillary surfed the net to help him find a girlfriend. And that was me. I felt I was tricked and I was very sad. Do you think I'm wrong?
Paula: It seems like Bill takes special interests in Monica just like our president. Monica, it's a serious and common social problem in modern society. Lots of people want to make friends on the Internet. But you must be careful. On the net, people use nicknames to protect themselves, or even trick others to do something bad. Everyone on the net wears a mask. Sometimes it's evil that hides under the mask. So you had better watch out. Never date with strangers by yourself. Strangers are dangerous.
Monica: Thanks, Paula. You do help me a lot. I know what I should do now.
(Suddenly someone is calling Monica on net)
Starr: Hi! Monica! I'm Starr. May I make friends with you?
Monica: Oh! No! Not again!
(Lights out)