① 最搞笑的個性簽名
1. 我想做你的小太陽，要不溫暖你，要不曬死你。
2. 當你覺得自己又丑又窮的時候，不要悲傷，至少你的判斷還是對的。
3. 說出來怕嚇到你們，我也是有後台的人，能運行兩個程序。
4. 拿快遞的感覺就像跟失散多年的親骨肉重逢，但常常拆開之後發現孩子長得像隔壁老王。
5. 所謂的明騷易躲，暗箭難防絕對是真理，狐狸不成精純屬騷的輕。
6. 家家都有本難念的經，可是上天你怎麼給我的是英文版的經呢？
7. 沒有強大的主人，別以為是狗你就能亂咬人。
8. 追韓劇的擔心嫁不出去，追國產劇的最擔心婆媳關系。
9. 為什麼年年買衣服，年年沒有衣服穿？因為你一年比一年有氣質，去年的衣服，配不上今年的你。
10. 單身很痛苦，單身久了更痛苦，前幾天我看見一頭母豬，都覺得它眉清目秀的。
② 公布戀情的時候，發什麼朋友圈比較好玩
公布戀情的時候，可以發一些你們的牽手照或者一起吃飯的照片，這樣不至於太高調也不會太低調。
要不要發朋友圈來宣布自己的愛情，有人說，當然公開，向全世界宣布：我不再是一個人，脫單了，她（他）是屬於我的了。也有人說，沒必要，該知道的總會知道，沒必要什麼事都要讓所有人知道。
有人可能覺得秀恩愛沒必要，其實對於發朋友圈的人來說秀恩愛並不是目的，而是想要分享自己此時的感受，分享自己的喜悅。且公開並不等於每天都秀。同意公布的人認為非常有必要，因為不公布會讓自己覺得沒有安全感，很多人覺得不願意在朋友圈發對象大概都是留有後手，會猜測對方是在尋找下家，而自己則會成為備胎。
所以選擇發一張簡簡單單的牽手照或者一起吃飯的照片，對兩個人都是比較好的選擇，折中，誰也不會難為誰，對朋友圈裡其他人也好，不至於吃狗糧。
③ 非常搞笑的笑話,非常搞笑的句子
1、出賣自己的靈魂和原則並不丟人，丟人的是沒有賣上一個好價錢。
2、她笑裡藏刀，然後割傷了自己的嘴。
3、比起窮這個弱點，丑簡直不值一提。
4、我的優點是：勇於認錯。我的缺點是：堅決不改。
5、如果我死了請不要為我悲傷，趕快集齊七顆龍珠將我復活。
6、我從小就怕黑，小的時候成績不好就是因為怕看黑板。
7、她是女生，會發光，而我是女生，會反光。
8、喜歡一個女生，就要好好學習，努力賺錢，以後她結婚時，你可以多給份子錢。
9、上帝是公平的，給了你丑的外表，還會給你低的智商，以免讓你顯得不協調。
10、只有經歷過大風大雨的人才知道，打傘並沒有什麼卵用。
11、有些歌聽前奏就喜歡了，有些人看第一眼就愛上了，有些作業翻第一頁就不想寫了。
12、你想一夜暴富嗎？你想一夜成名嗎？你想衣食無憂嗎？如果你想不如跟我在一起，我們兩個一起想。
13、目前現狀：想過八戒般的生活，卻承受著悟空般的壓力，但只有沙僧的本事，還時不時能聽到唐僧般的嘮叨。
14、臉上長痘痘，去醫院看醫生，掛了號我才發現皮膚病性病是一個科，這要被人誤以為是我那兒有毛病可就丟臉了！我想了想，毅然脫掉褲子在眾目睽睽之下驕傲地走進了診療室。
15、今天我女朋友懷疑我出軌，被我劈頭蓋臉一通臭罵，我說我別的女朋友都沒懷疑我出軌，怎麼就你這么多事兒。
④ 楊過戴面具的6個版本，劉德華版嚇人，任賢齊是來搞笑的嗎
金庸老爺子筆下有很多經典之作，每一部武俠小說的俠骨柔情都能觸動觀眾的內心。最令人印象深刻的要數《神鵰俠侶》，所以多年以來很多演員都爭相翻拍這部電視作品。
因為演員不同，所以塑造出來的人物給觀眾的感覺也各不相同，下面大家就來研究一下6個版本當中，帶著不同面具的楊過，給觀眾留下了什麼樣的感覺！
一部作品之所以能夠被大家認同，並成為經典，除了和演員有很大的關系之外，和劇情裡面的很多細節都有很大關系，比如演員的服飾、道具、場景的選擇等。想要塑造成經典的作品就不能放過每一個細節，用心做，用心演才能出經典，你覺得呢？
⑤ 鎬ユ眰鑻辮璇濆墽鍓ф湰鎼炵瑧鐨 8浜
Net Friend 浜掕仈緗戜氦鍙
Summary:
Is it correct to make friends on the Internet? Will it be dangerous? Bill, Hillary's younger brother, is a rude and impolite boy. Everyone in his school doesn't like him. However, he really wants to have a girlfriend, so he asks his sister to help him. Then Hillary pretended to be Bill on net and met a nice girl, Monica. Three months later, Hillary asked Monica to go out with "Bill" (Her brother), and arranged everything for them. When they met each other at McDonald's, Monica found that Bill wasn't the one who she talked to on net. Then...
Finally, Monica understands that it's very dangerous to date with strangers and trusts everything of which her net-friend told her. And we all should be very careful when we're on net.
銆
Scene I
(In school cafeteria, students are having lunch)
Bill: Hey, Jessie. (He pushed her shoulder very rudely) Can I join you?
(Jessie didn't say a word, and Bill just sat down)
Bill: Wow! Wow! Wow! You are wearing a nice dress today!
Jessie: Thanks!
Bill: Oh! What a beautiful hair clip. Where did you buy it?
(Jessie didn't say anything..)
Bill: Hey, you have a nice watch.
(He held her hand strongly and Jessie got angry.)
Jessie: Don't touch me! I don't want to talk to you. Leave me alone!
(Bill stood up and walked toward Carol.
Bill sat down beside Carol without asking her)
Bill: Hey, beautiful! How could you eat so little! It's not good for your health! Take this!
(Bill wanted Carol to eat his food)
Carol: No.
Bill: Take it! (He was very rude and the plate fell down.)
Carol: Hey! What are you doing! This is my new skirt!
Bill: I'm sorry!
Carol: Go away! You're such a rude guy!
(Carol went away.)
Bill: Did I do something wrong?
(He talked to himself)
Scene II
(In Hillary's room. Hillary was surfing the net)
Bill: Sis....
Bill: Hillary!
Hillary: Oh! Hi! Bill! How long have you been sitting there? Are you trying to scare me?
(Bill didn't say a word.)
Hillary: Bill? What's wrong with you? What happened?
Bill: I tried to draw some girls' attention but they just ignored me!
Hillary: Hmm....Maybe the way you used was wrong.
Bill: Yeah, maybe. But I don't know how to attract them. Hillary, I just want to have a girlfriend?
Hillary: Girlfriend?
Bill: Yeah.
Hillary: Let me see what I can do.
Bill: So, can you help me?
Hillary: Ok! Since you really want to have a girlfriend, I'll try to help you.
Bill: Great! Thank you! You are a doll!
(At this moment, Hillary's net-friend is calling her.)
Hillary: Oh.. My net-friend!
Bill: Ok! Waiting for your good news!
(Bill left Hillary's room and Hillary was thinking how she helped Bill.)
Hillary: Yeah! That's it! I can pretend to be Bill and find a girlfriend on the Internet!
(She opened the PC and saw a girl's name "Monica"...)
Hillary: (Laughing......) Monica!
(A little bit surprised)
Hillary: (Talked to herself) It is the same name as the girl of Clinton's sexual scandal. Hmm. Let me send a message to her.
Hillary: Hi! I'm Bill! Glad to meet you!
Monica: Hello, Bill! , Glad to meet you, too. I'm a college student, and you?
Hillary: Me three
Monica: (Laughing...) You're a humorous person!
Hillary: Thanks! I guess you're a female, aren't you?
Monica: Yes, I am.
Hillary: (Talked to herself) Great! She's a girl.
Monica: And you?
Hillary: Oh... I'm a "boy"
Monica: Which school club are you in?
Hillary: Computer Information Club.
Monica: Oh! Really? So you must be a computer expert!
Hillary: You can say that again.
Monica: You know I'm interested in computers, too. So, can you teach me or tell me something about them?
Hillary: Sure! It's my pleasure!
( .....Two hours later .....)
Hillary: Oh! It's interesting to chat with you.
Monica: Yeah! I'm very happy, too.
IIiIIaiy: Will you be here tomorrow? At the same time?
Monica: I think so, I hope we can meet again.
Hillary: Ok, I'll be here tomorrow, Bye! Bye!
Monica: Bye!
Saying: From then on, Monica and Hillary continue chatting with each other after school.
(At Monica's room. As soon as Monica came back home from school,
she started surfing the net. Then, her mom came into her room.
She knocked her door, but no oneanswered the door)
Dad錛欴arling錛宻omeone is knocking the door.
Mom: I'm coming!
Mom: Oh! Monica, my darling! I've just baked some cookies. Want some?
Monica: No, thanks! I have something important to do.
Mom: What are you busy doing?
Monica: I'm surfing the net and talking to my net-friend.
Mom: Net-friends!! They are strangers. You even don't know who they are. I read from the newspapers. Lot's of things happened on net. You should be more careful and you have to watch out for your net-friends, You're so young
Monica: Ok.. ok. .I know, Mom. Don't worry about me.
(Mom walked out her room. and Monica saw Hillary)
Monica: Hello! Bill!
Hillary: Hi! Monica! How's school today?
Monica: Wonderful! It's really a nice day!
Hillary: Monica! I think we've known each other for a long time. And I just wonder whether you would go out with me?
Monica: (Talk to herself) Go out with him?
Monica: Sure, I would like to. I think you're a polite and humorous person. It may be interesting to go out with you!
Hillary: That's great! How about we meeting at McDonald's on Ming-Chang Road this weekend?
Monica: All right! It's a deal! But how can I recognize you?
Hilillary: I'll wear a blue shirt, blue jeans, a blue caps and also carry a blue knapsack. Besides, I'll stand beside the trash can.
Monica: All in blue! Wow! Ok! That will be easy for me to recognize you.
Hillary: Yeah! I'll be waiting for you!
Monica: Ok! See you
Monica: (Talk to herself) Ha! I'm looking forward to it!
Hillary: (Talk to herself) Yes, I made it. I'm going to tell Bill this good news!
ScenceIII
(At McDonald's, Bill was waiting for Monica.
A few minutes later, Monica saw Bill and walked toward Bill)
Monica: Hi... Are you Bill?
Bill: Yes, I am. You're Monica?
Monica: Yeah.. that's right.
Bill: You look great!
Monica: You're not bad, either. Hey, Let's find a table!
Bill: Yeah! How about that one? I've ordered some things.
(They found a table and began talking.)
Monica: Bill!
Bill: Monica!
Bill: Oh! Lady first!
Monica: Bill, have you already finished your computer report?
Bill: Uh...Uh... Did I tell you that?
Monica: Yes, you did. You said it was about how to kill virus. Did you find out how to do that?
Bill: Kill virus? That's easy for me. I'm a genius. Just use a knife.
Monica: A knife?
Bill: Yeah! Knife can kill everything.
Monica: What are you talking about? Alright! Alright! Forget it! And how about the novel we discussed last week?
Bill: Novel? I've read so many novels, which one?
Monica: "The old man and the sea", don't you forget? What happened to that old man?
Bill: Yeah! That old man! He caught a big fish and then became a hero.
Monica: Hmm. He has a strong will, doesn't he? He never gives up anything. And how about the fish?
Bill: Did you forget? He cooked the fish and ate it!
Monica: And~~it's delicious, right?
Bill: You got it! It's very delicious!
Monica: Nonsense! The fish was eaten by the sharks . You're not Bill, are you?
Bill: Of course I'm Bill. "B~I-L-L"
Monica: But you seem different from the way you are on net. Who are you for God's sake?
Bill: Ok. I tell you the truth. I'm Bill, but not the one you talked to on net. That was my sister, Hillary.
Monica: Are you kidding me?
Bill: No, that's true. I really want to have a girlfriend, so she helped me out. She met you on net and thought you're a nice girl. So she arranged us to meet each other.
Monica: That means both of you tricked me?
Bill: So what? That's Hillary's idea.
Monica: You. ..You..... (She is very angry)
Monica: Gosh! I was tricked for such a long time!
Scence IV
(Monica left McDonald angrily)
(At Monica's room, again.)
Monica: (Crying) How foolish I was! What on earth was I doing? (Still crying) I think I need someone to talk to.
(She looked around and saw the time)
Monica: Ah, 8:30. It's "Paula's Time."
(She turned on the TV)
Paula: Welcome to "Paula's Time" I'm Paula Jones, not Dow Jones. Today we'll discuss some net problems. Nowadays Internet helps modern people live more convenient lives, get the latest information. You can say that we live in an Internet world. However, some bad guys made use of Internet to do illegal deals or trick people. So, today we will listen to some friends' problems and help them solve it. Our hot line number is 111-1234. Please dial it as soon as possible. I'm waiting for your call-in. OK. Who's the first friend?
Monica: Hi, Paula, I'm Monica.
Paula: Yes, Monica, what do you want to share with us?
Monica: I met a girl, Hillary, on net three months ago. She pretended to be her brother, Bill, and chatted with me. But I didn't know the truth until yesterday that we arranged to meet each other. He told me that Hillary surfed the net to help him find a girlfriend. And that was me. I felt I was tricked and I was very sad. Do you think I'm wrong?
Paula: It seems like Bill takes special interests in Monica just like our president. Monica, it's a serious and common social problem in modern society. Lots of people want to make friends on the Internet. But you must be careful. On the net, people use nicknames to protect themselves, or even trick others to do something bad. Everyone on the net wears a mask. Sometimes it's evil that hides under the mask. So you had better watch out. Never date with strangers by yourself. Strangers are dangerous.
Monica: Thanks, Paula. You do help me a lot. I know what I should do now.
(Suddenly someone is calling Monica on net)
Starr: Hi! Monica! I'm Starr. May I make friends with you?
Monica: Oh! No! Not again!
(Lights out)